Go, and never darken my towels again.

Women should be obscene and not heard

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as a member

I cannot say that I do not disagree with you

There is one way to find out if a man is honest... ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well, I have others.

Room service...? Send up a larger room.